Transitional age at 17 18 years. Transitional age in girls: signs and symptoms

Transitional age is a special period in a person's life. It is manifested by certain symptoms, to which parents should respond correctly. Children dramatically change their behavior, they are difficult to manage. However, this stage, although difficult, can be overcome without any problems.

There are techniques that allow you to establish normal relationships with children. Some parents will benefit from reading the relevant literature to avoid the consequences of communicating with the child. Indeed, it is at this age that there are a lot of deaths, when a small person could not find support from his parents and cope with his own experiences. Many run away from home, trying to find support on the street. They become disillusioned over time, but there may be no turning back.

What is transitional age? Its other name is puberty. For a child, not only the sensations of life and himself as an element of the whole system change, his body is transformed. Why is adolescence called a transitional age? At this time, the transition of each person into adulthood from childhood takes place. Everything changes: attitude to parents, to life, to the future.

How long is the transition period? Its duration can be approximately 4 years. Now children are growing up earlier, so the transition period can be reduced by 2 times, but this is all individual. At what age does puberty begin? From the age of 12 and ends at 16. In each individual case, this time period can vary in any direction.

The stage under consideration is notable for its complexity, a certain drama for some teenagers. Transitional age is associated with difficulties due to a number of reasons. The most significant factor is . Teenagers are characterized by a high degree of sensitivity to how others evaluate their appearance. At the same time, they show independence, firmness in opinion, which is expressed about other people.

When a transitional age sets in, in children one can simultaneously observe callousness, attentiveness, and painful shyness. There is a need to evaluate personalities authoritative for him. They want to be recognized, they behave in many situations quite cheekily. Characteristic at this stage is the deification of the idol. They strive in every possible way to demonstrate their own independence, fight against established rules, and oppose authorities.

This stage is manifested by the fact that adolescents are often not satisfied with their own appearance, there is dissatisfaction in their own body. The child may have embarrassment about the body, he is embarrassed to openly show it. Often children do not want to be photographed, although they previously liked this activity.

All this can manifest itself due to ongoing changes at the hormonal level. Restructuring of absolutely all systems and internal organs should begin in the body. Throughout time, there is a need for a material that is the basis for the construction of fabrics. Because of this, there is a need for abundant nutrition, but there are changes in appetite.

Other reasons

The characteristics of the transitional age suggests that adolescents who have reached the age of 13-14 experience certain alternations of bursts of active periods. A child may be vigorous, but after a short time period he becomes tired or completely exhausted. The period of transitional age is characterized by the syndrome of teenage laziness. At the same time, parents describe this so-called syndrome by the fact that the child is lazy to do something and reveals a desire to lie down, sit, or does not want to stand upright (relies on various objects).

Experts associate these features of the transitional age with increased growth, so he expends a lot of strength and energy to perform certain actions. All this is reflected in the fact that the endurance of the child is greatly reduced. The manifesting effect of the syndrome is reflected in general condition and behavior of the child.

So, a teenager has some awkwardness, which leads to various breakdowns and damage to objects. These difficulties of adolescence may give the impression that a teenager is acting on purpose, but this is not so. All negative manifestations occur regardless of the child, they are caused by the restructuring of the motor system.

Coping with the changes in question is quite difficult, but over time, a teenager becomes an adult. In order for the process to be realized, large physical costs are necessary. If you pay attention to the psychological aspect, then it is quite difficult for a child to live at this moment in time.

The transitional age in certain cases proceeds with difficulties that are associated with an unwillingness to grow up. It is in his subconscious that he will lose his usual state, so discomfort arises.

About the possible behavior of a teenager

Signs of adolescence are observed in the behavior of a teenager. Quite often it changes very much and becomes defiant. These changes are manifested in rudeness. He does not let adults near him, does not want to share his personal. In addition, his mood often changes, and he also does not allow a parent to be close to him, for example, he does not allow himself to be hugged. Psychologists compare this behavior with a hedgehog, which all the time repels others and.

Late transitional age is even more difficult. It is not uncommon for a child to refuse to clean their own room. Parents can observe a complete mess there, which absolutely does not bother the teenager. He also does not want to hear about household duties, it is very difficult to make them perform.

The symptoms of adolescence are also observed in the fact that the son or daughter tries to anger their parents, which can ultimately lead to a scandal. At the same time, a teenager may not worry at all about this.

The crisis of adolescence in adolescents sometimes negatively affects the condition of parents, as they all this time feel some confusion and cannot understand what actions to take. This whole process is painful for both parents and children, but all these symptoms can be overcome if you approach this behavior in the right way.

If the transitional age has approached, what should I do? Parents should respond wisely to such behavior. A teenager, with his extraordinary behavior, is trying to develop his own approach to certain events.

The crisis of this age makes it clear that a teenager is under pressure from various parties: parents, school and peers. So he tries to start living his own life without outside help. Psychology focuses on the fact that a teenager is trying to declare to others about his existence. However, the problems of adolescence begin to develop here due to the fact that the child does not yet have goals in life, emotional stability is also not observed.

About the development of the personality of a teenager

How to deal with transitional age? In this case, psychology comes to the rescue. This science focuses on the fact that a teenager in this difficult period for him becomes a person. Therefore, no reproaches, humiliation or similar actions can be resorted to.

How to help a teenager during this period? First of all, you need to try to occupy him with something. But at the same time, you need to remember that the child must be perceived as an individual.

How long is the transition period? For each teenager, this time can last differently, but all the signs are almost the same: this is the desire for maximum independence and refusal to accept problem situations.

When the transitional age begins, adolescents have a feeling of excessive adulthood. At the same time, psychology notes that he has new level claims that do not match the actual state. Transitional age, features of contact with adolescents must be taken into account. It is extremely important for a child that his growing up is noted by parents and others. However, if the behavior does not satisfy adults, conflicts arise.

How to survive the transitional age? It is very important for a teenager that he receives and feels the support of loved ones all this time. But at the same time, the child can in every possible way refuse care and other manifestations of support.

What is good parenting behavior? This is building trusting relationships with loved ones. This process should be based on support, approval. The duration of the transitional age will also be determined by how well the parents behave.

You need to be prepared for the fact that a teenager will protest in every possible way, and he will not have enough adult advice. Communication will be accepted properly only in those cases when he understands that he has equal rights with adults. The transitional age is ending when a parent has a constructive conversation with his son/daughter. At the same time, there is no need to be rude, scream, etc. You just need to show in every possible way that the child is understood. It is necessary to share with him your own thoughts, experiences, etc.

When the teenage period ends, the child already acquires the ability to independently think and understand various life situations. Interest in the life of a child should not be artificial or simulated. All his actions must be monitored and negative deeds prohibited.

additional information

Regardless of how old the transitional age began, it is recommended to use a certain developed technology to repay the emerging conflict between a teenager and adults. Not many parents know that in the process of quarrels with a teenager, one should not insult him or blame him for something. It is recommended to express your attitude towards the child, and only positive. This process should be called building trust.

In the first year of adolescence and beyond, it is necessary to build a dialogue with the child as correctly as possible. For example, you need to focus on the fact that rude behavior negatively affects adults, etc. At the same time, you need to be prepared for a sharp response from the child, for example, that he doesn’t care. But this is just a mask, and sooner or later this behavior must end. A teenager will definitely remember these words and draw conclusions for himself.

A new period should begin in the child's life, and it should not be supported by any insults or other negative emotions, since all these are mistakes. Allowing them, parents cause only aggression in their child. But all this passes with time, and as a result, the teenager has only positive impressions of the support of his parents. By expressing your own feelings and feelings to the child, it will be possible to avoid conflict.

It is generally accepted that the nightmare of any family - the difficult age of the child falls on 13-18 years. Parents are waiting for this age with bated breath, like a natural disaster. And they are very happy when this very period of a growing child lives quietly and calmly, without emergencies, such as an unplanned pregnancy or leaving home in an unknown direction.

But sometimes the joy of parents is premature.

I am a psychologist. And to me in Lately more and more often parents turn, bewildered by the incomprehensible metamorphoses that occur with their already adult children. Adults means adults. From 18 and over. Moreover, these "kids" do such miracles that dad and mom never dreamed of in nightmares. It would seem that after 18 you can already relax - the most difficult thing is behind you: the school is over, puberty has passed, the child has entered the institute, or “he was admitted” ... A prosperous life, career, family seems to be looming ahead ... everything, like normal people. And then, surprises...

I call it "a belated riot". A young man or girl shows all the symptoms of adolescence, only five to seven years later than it is customary to expect. Suddenly, a person ceases to understand himself, aggressive behavior creeps out of him, which is interspersed with depressive lying on the couch ... An institute that is already almost completed can be successfully right before passing a diploma, a career that begins is derailed. Add to this the endless night parties with the adoption of hefty portions of alcohol, and even drugs, numerous sexual contacts with random partners, alienation from the family, total distrust of parents, unreasonable spending of money and other delights of “growing up”.

Parents try to get at least some intelligible answer from an adult child to the question “What is happening?”, But to no avail. He/she doesn't even know what's going on.

In a panic, such parents come to a psychologist. They are offended that right now, when so much has been invested in their beloved child, everything is collapsing for an unknown reason.

Strange, but all the parents of these rebellious adult children are somewhat similar. As a rule, mother and father are financially secure. Or very wealthy. These are managers, employees, high-level managers or owners own business. They have a comfortable life. The circle of communication in these families, as a rule, corresponds to their level. All the best is invested in the child. Special school, sports activities, computer programs, tutors, etc. Often these children get their own car early, they go abroad to rest and study.

It turns out that the life of such a child is scheduled for years to come. Very often, parents long before graduation know which educational institution the child will go to (there is a familiar rector, there are prestigious professions, there are great prospects, there are foreign internships, parents studied there, etc.)

In general, life is scheduled for years to come. Here lies the main reason. Parents, or one of the parents in such a family, as a rule, are authoritarian. They are self-confident people and their abilities. They know how to behave in this life in such a way that it would not be a shame for the aimlessly lived years. And instill the same values in your child. He already has a destiny in store for him.

And all this would be great. But...

Sooner or later, all children grow up. And growing up is a time when a small being before discovers in itself the rudiments of independence, and passionately wants to realize this independence. For the first time he has his own desires (maybe wrong from the point of view of his parents), for the first time he feels separate from the family and the desires of his parents.

It turns out that at the very time when a teenager is supposed to demonstrate all the charms of the transition period, he simply has no time. At this time, parents have increased vigilance, they try to load it more with classes and various activities. In addition, they give logical, reasonable arguments: if you invest in your life now, then it will be easy. Very often the child does not have time to really understand himself, and everything has already been decided for him. Well, once they decided, and okay: he himself doesn’t know for sure. What does he want in this life?

He enters the institute not only by his own choice, he simply does not resist the will of his parents. And parents show increased care so that he does not need anything. Getting used to all this, a teenager grows up in greenhouse conditions, familiar with only one side of life. He doesn't have time for teenage pranks. Life is overly busy, and it is most intense just when you want freedom the most.

It turns out that outwardly this difficult period, a maturing person behaves calmly. In fact, he hasn't grown up yet. He just has no time. He realizes the ambitions of his parents, without realizing it. However, if he does not get over growing up in time, this does not mean that he will never get over it.

As a result, it turns out that the young man (girl) was not allowed to live this very “rebellious” period in a timely manner, and the child does not have the opportunity to live by his own interests, desires, does not know what he wants himself. He too "roughly" spent his difficult age.

And suddenly, five years later, the delights of a difficult age appear unexpectedly, like snow in May. Parents seem to have relaxed already: the child has become an adult (it would seem), studies where necessary (did not resist, thank God), communicates with a decent company (we tried to make the environment suitable), the army does not threaten him (we did everything possible) . In short, they lived his life for him.

And then their child realizes that he is a biorobot, carrying out all his short life for the time being some programs that have been instilled in him since childhood. It does, for no reason. He realizes that until now he has not yet lived his own life. He does not know what he wants, but what is now is not his. And he strikes in protest against the life he lives. The protest may be conscious or unconscious, but the "belated teenager" desperately defends his right to live his life, even if it is wrong and imperfect from the point of view of his parents. Sessions do not give up, exams are skipped, work is abandoned, at night he (she) is not at home. The child says that he doesn’t want to study here, but he doesn’t know where he wants to ... He wants to live separately, however, he doesn’t know what for ... A girlfriend (friend) is not his person at all, it was a mistake ...

All the more insulting to poor parents - they wanted the best! Now everything is at stake: the institute, the beginning career. This young man (girl) already has something to lose. Their child seems to grow dull before our eyes, and, as they say, falls into "adolescence". But that's how it really is. After all, no one has yet been able to deceive nature.

Of course, the first thing parents want is to urgently do something with the child in order to straighten his brains, make a man out of him and set him on the right path. The real one is the way they see it. And in their attempts to reason with their literally enraged child, they do everything! They conduct soul-saving conversations, read notations, take them to psychologists, lock them up at home, deprive them of money, send them to study abroad, etc.

Ironically, the best thing a parent can do in such a situation is to leave their child alone. Take your hand off the pulse. Unfasten the leash. This is just the most difficult and least of all fits into the parent's head. How can you get away from him at a time like this? He will break such firewood! But in fact, the parent is afraid to admit that in fact he no longer controls anything, and the child has already “fallen off the leash”.

If parents find the strength to step back and take a neutral and benevolent position in relation to the child, then, having lived for two or three years in a state of protest and destruction, he becomes an adult. It's hard, it's hard, but it's getting there. It is even possible that during this time he will destroy what his parents have been creating for him for so long and carefully. Then he would have to start all over again. It won't be easy either. But it will be HIS life. Albeit wrong from the point of view of parents. Only in his life a person has a chance to be happy. In someone else's life, no.

How quickly time flies! It seems that just recently you brought a precious bundle from the hospital, in which your baby was sleeping peacefully. The child grew, changed, developed. And no matter how much we would like to avoid this, but there comes a time when yesterday's baby begins to prepare for entry into adulthood.

Our children are entering a transitional age, and with it come the difficulties of adolescence. Children change not only physical state, but there is also a change in attitude and consciousness. Their body grows rapidly, amazing processes take place in it - puberty occurs; mentality and mindset change. The nervous system of a teenager is overloaded with all these changes.

Children become irritable and often even aggressive. Sometimes parents get lost and do not understand how to behave with a teenager. In order to help them, first of all, it is necessary to understand what a transitional age is and what happens to our children during growing up.

Transitional age is such a period of time in a teenager when he experiences puberty, associated with accelerated growth and physical development. All internal organs and body systems during this period are finally formed. At this time, there is an intensive process of production of a number of hormones, which is the key to all physiological changes.

The transitional age in boys begins a year or two later than the transitional age in girls. Already in the fifth or sixth grade, this difference between boys and girls becomes visible - we all remember the time when in the same class there were guys who looked quite childish, and girls who were already beginning to turn into girls, and already looked quite adults.

The transitional age in adolescents has no clear time limits. Yes, and the characteristics of the transitional age in each child manifest themselves in different ways. After all, each organism has its own individual rhythms and features of the ongoing processes. Therefore, it is impossible to say exactly how long the transitional age lasts. But mostly doctors and psychologists call the period from 10-11 years old to 15-17 years old. With the proviso that these figures vary both in the direction of decrease and increase.

Already from the very beginning of the transitional age, adolescents begin to show gender differences even in the nature of the course and in the difference in age, when the transitional age begins and when it ends. As already mentioned, in girls, maturation begins a couple of years earlier than in boys, it is not so acute and ends faster. In boys, the transitional age lasts four or even five years and is much more active.

Psychology and medicine recognize the transitional age as a rather difficult stage in the process of growing up a child. Moreover, no matter how long the transitional age lasts, it can be conditionally divided into three phases.

The first phase is a period of preparation of the body and psyche for the upcoming major changes. The second phase is the actual transitional age in children. It is also called puberty. The third phase is the post-transitional (or post-pubertal) age, during which the physiological and psychological formation is completed. The first phase of adolescence in children can be conditionally equated to the younger adolescence, but the post-transitional age can be attributed to the time of adolescence. The time when the transitional age ends is characterized by a growing interest in the opposite sex, emerging and growing sexual activity.

Now evening walks are interesting because of dates, and balls and jump ropes are forgotten. Girls of transitional age near the mirror now spend most of their free time. After all, transitional age brings not only acne, changes in appearance both delight and frighten young girls. Boys also have a hard time, because their worldview is subjected to psychological tests. They are not yet ready to enter adulthood on their own, but it is also impossible to return to childhood.

In adolescence, the psychology of a child changes rapidly, and it is very difficult for him alone to navigate the changing reality for him. The task of adults is to tell their grown-up child how to survive the transitional age with the least losses. Therefore, it is necessary to know the symptoms of adolescence, and also be psychologically prepared for the fact that the difficulties of adolescence to one degree or another overtake every family.

A number of changes in appearance become symptoms of adolescence. Moreover, these changes occur differently in boys and girls. Therefore, we will consider the signs of adolescence in boys and the signs of adolescence in girls separately.

Signs of adolescence in boys are the following physiological changes:

at about 10-11 years old, the testicles and penis begin to increase in size;
at 11-12 years old, pubic hair growth begins, pigmentation of the scrotum appears;
at 12-13 years old, further growth of the penis and testicles occurs, and pubic hair becomes longer and thicker;
the transitional age of 14 brings a “breaking” of the voice. Breaking of the voice occurs due to an increase in the size of the vocal cords and the development of the muscles and cartilage of the throat. The voice becomes rougher, becomes more "masculine". The final formation of the voice takes about two years;
hair appears in the armpits, the first fluff appears above the upper lip. Gradually hair covers the arms, legs, groin, face. Finally, the hairline will form by the time the transitional age ends;
at the same age - at 13-14 years old - the muscles begin to develop rapidly. The boys' shoulders are getting wider, and they themselves are getting taller and stronger.
Almost every teenage boy has wet dreams - this is the name of spontaneous ejaculation during sleep. This is an absolutely normal phenomenon, and it usually appears in the period from 10 to 14-16 years.

Physiological signs of adolescence in girls are such age-related changes as:

at 8-10 years old, the pelvic bones begin to expand, the hips and buttocks are noticeably rounded;
at the age of 9-10, the pigmentation of the areola increases, it swells and begins to protrude;
at 10-11 years old, the first hair appears on the pubis and in the armpits. The mammary glands continue to grow and develop;
already at 11-12 years old, menstruation can occur, although more often it begins later, at 13-14 years old;
at 15-16 years old menstrual cycle already stabilized, menstruation becomes constant and regular. The growth of hair on the pubis and armpits continues.

Both boys and girls experience a period of increased growth during puberty. The peak of growth falls at about 12 years and can reach 9-10 centimeters per year. In girls, growth stops at 16-18 years old, boys continue to grow until about 20-22 years old.

During puberty, most teenagers develop acne and blackheads on their face, back, and chest. Acne of transitional age, as well as blackheads and blackheads, appear due to a change in the condition of the skin that occurs against the background of hormonal changes in the body.

But not only changes in the appearance of the child indicate that a transitional age has come. There are symptoms of another plan - the behavior of the child and even his character is changing. Just yesterday, an affectionate and obedient child suddenly becomes suspicious, touchy, rude, categorical. He has a habit of arguing with you on any occasion.

Emotional instability and maximalism, stubbornness and rudeness, often turning into rudeness, is also an age-related feature that is caused by hormonal storms in the body of a teenager. Adolescence brings changes in everything, including the state of health of a teenager. And the problems of the psychological plan cannot but put an additional burden on the physical condition of the child. The main difficulties of the transitional age lie precisely in this plexus of physiological and psychological problems, which come as a complete surprise to the teenager himself. Entering the path of growing up, he does not even know what trials await him ahead! And very often the body of a teenager begins to falter.

Diseases of adolescence may be temporary. Most often, ailments are caused by the fact that some organs and systems do not have time to grow as fast as the teenager himself, and therefore do not fully cope with their functions. In the future, they "catch up" in the growth of their owner, and the condition of the teenager is normalized. The most common diseases of adolescence are acne, vegetovascular dystonia and teenage depression.

Vegetovascular dystonia is a violation in the work of the autonomic nervous system, which is the regulator of internal balance in the body. Such disorders occur due to hormonal processes occurring in the body, as well as due to the psycho-emotional overload that adolescents are subject to. Symptoms of this disease are palpitations, dizziness, sweating, low blood pressure, chilliness, abdominal pain of unknown origin, fatigue, irritability. As a rule, all these phenomena disappear when the transitional age passes.

Acne in adolescence appears in almost all adolescents - both boys and girls. They can appear on the face, back, chest, less often on other parts of the body. And the reason for their appearance is the increased production of sebum along with blockage of the excretory ducts of the sebaceous glands.

Teenage acne is a temporary problem. It is relevant only in adolescence and youth, and after the completion of puberty, it usually goes away on its own. But in especially serious cases, acne marks in the form of scars and scars can remain for life. In such cases, it is necessary to seek treatment from a dermatologist. In addition to treatment, it is also necessary to constantly cleanse the skin of pollution and excess fat. A balanced diet will help speed up the fight against acne in adolescence.

The transitional age in girls causes additional suffering, not only because of acne and increased greasiness of the hair, but also due to the fact that, along with the usual growth of the skeleton at this age and an increase in muscle mass there is an increase in adipose tissue. For a teenage girl, this can be a real tragedy. At this time, they begin to attach great importance to their appearance, and here - extra weight!

Fearing that they will become too fat, the girls begin to mercilessly exhaust themselves with all kinds of diets, and often begin to refuse food altogether. With the growth rates typical for this age, this is dangerous at least because even if normal body weight is restored in the future, the bone tissue mass will not be able to recover. A more formidable danger is anorexia. This is a terrible disease that gives a lot of complications and causes irreparable damage to the body of a teenager. Therefore, during the transitional age, a girl’s parents should try to form the conviction that a good figure should be achieved not with the help of hunger (after all, a thin cow is not yet a gazelle!), But with the help of sports.

The main problems of adolescence in girls are that they have very high demands on themselves. It seems to them that they themselves look no worse than the rest, and their clothes are not as fashionable as they would like. The formation of a complex of imaginary shortcomings is a feature of the transitional age of girls.
At this age, great importance is attached appearance, because right now the relationship with the boys from friendship is changing to falling in love. First love is most often unrequited and gives an additional reason to look for the cause of unhappiness in imaginary shortcomings. In addition, the desire for rivalry between peers is growing, which often leads to painful conflicts.

Girls are more sensitive to all the difficulties they face. They begin to feel like adults, and they want to show everyone how independent they are, but at the same time, they do not always have the opportunity to do so. And they have to step over their own pride, turning to adults for help, and this is one of the most common causes of mental suffering for a girl.

Parents who are faced with the problems of adolescence in girls should not consider them ridiculous, ridiculous and insignificant. It is necessary to listen to your daughter, help her with unobtrusive advice, tactfully guide her to the right decision. In no case should you lecture or force her to do anything. And it is very important to remember - when your daughter's transitional age comes, you should make all comments about her appearance as delicately as possible!

The problems of adolescence in boys begin most often precisely from the time when he begins to feel an increase in his physical strength and sexual activity. And a feature of the transitional age in boys can be called their constant feeling of the need to prove to the whole world and, most importantly, to themselves, that he is already an adult man, and not a little boy. The need to constantly present evidence of his masculinity deprives him of peace of mind and balance. At this time, as a rule, the character of a teenage boy changes dramatically.

Growing up, the boy expects more privileged rights, as in adults, but begins to get confused in adult values and again feels like a "not independent" "little" boy. This frightens him, and fear leads to aggression and nervousness. He tries to change something, but does not know how to do the right thing; tries to behave like an adult, but does not understand the measure of responsibility for his "adult" actions. Trying to understand the contradictions of adult life and their internal positions, a teenager becomes withdrawn, stubborn, shy, or, conversely, aggressive and completely uncontrollable.

If a teenager grows up in a friendly family with sensitive, understanding parents, then, as a rule, his parents manage to help the boy realize and show his masculinity. After all, you can, for example, captivate him with sports or other activities, where he could develop his physical strength and look quite courageous in the eyes of others. If a young man does not feel understanding from adults, and in addition, he sees that his parents do not expect any achievements from him, then in such cases adolescents most often assert themselves through idleness, hooliganism, and the emergence of bad habits.

When a teenager, for whatever reason, has a strong conflict with his father, then, oddly enough, it is their mothers who have to face the problems of adolescence in boys most of all. If a boy from childhood was afraid of his father or, conversely, did not have the opportunity to communicate with him, then he will vent his anger and resentment primarily on his mother. In such a situation, it would be best to visit a psychologist with a guy who would help this young accuser “of all sins” sort out his feelings.

In addition, often, realizing their need for competition, they constantly and in everything try to be better than their fathers - in sports, in relationships with people, including with the opposite sex - everywhere they try to prove their superiority over their father. And if this cannot be done, and the father has not been able to build friendly relations with his son since childhood, then it is the mother who becomes the object for splashing out aggression. The transitional age in guys causes a constant desire to emphasize their independence from their mother, from her "calf tenderness". And it is in adolescence that the spirit of contradiction appears in the guys, which makes them do everything in spite of their mother: grow their hair when she calls for neatness, get a girl and spend all their time with her when they need to think about studying, start smoking when their mother talking about how bad it is...

Everyone knows that teenagers are very difficult. But ask yourself the question: is it easy for a teenager to be with himself? The psychology of adolescence is characterized by a predominance of tragic views, with a constant feeling of despair. According to sociologists, every tenth teenager thinks about suicide. And from every fifth one can hear: “Everything is so bad, dreary and hopeless that you want to hide in a corner and cry.” The psychological crisis of adolescence is experienced by adolescents the hardest. The all-consuming feeling of loneliness and despair is terrible for the fragile psyche of a teenager.

Every year, about four out of a hundred teenagers experience serious depression. And if such depression is not treated, then the situation may worsen, because clinical depression is a serious illness. It can affect the thoughts of a teenager, his behavior and all his health.

There are two types of teen depression:

an all-consuming feeling of sadness called major depression, or mental or reactive depression,
manic depression or bipolar disorder, when frustration and apathy are replaced by a need for active mental activity, which often leads to the accomplishment of rash acts. In particular, suicide attempts.

Teenage suicide is now the second leading cause of death after accidents. Very often, suicide attempts are unsuccessful, but if the girls mostly stop after the first unsuccessful attempt, then the boys try to repeat their attempts several times.

If you try to identify the main reasons that serve as a prerequisite for teenage suicide, then first of all it is worth mentioning the following:

deep depression;
family difficulties, most often - divorce of parents;
unwillingness of adults to take part in teenage problems.

When the transitional age comes, adults need to remember about no less formidable danger than the suicidal mood of adolescents. This is addiction. Already at the age of 10, 0.4% of children begin to try drugs. The peak of initiation to the potion falls on 13-14 years. At this age, 5-8% of the surveyed adolescents have already used drugs at least once. Moreover, adolescents usually never begin to take drugs without prior exposure to smoking and alcohol.

Today, almost everyone knows what drug addiction is and what destructive consequences it has. The trouble is that not everyone understands that such a terrible misfortune can happen to any child, even completely prosperous. Adolescents are too suggestible, and often they try the drug simply for company, out of curiosity, or in order not to “fall face down” in the eyes of their peers. But, having tried just once, they fall into a vicious circle, and they will not be able to get out of there on their own. Therefore, it is necessary during confidential conversations to try to convince the teenager of the perniciousness of such curiosity. And if a teenager is still in trouble, then it is important to notice its signs in time and lend a helping hand to a young man or girl. If timely treatment is taken, then there is hope that the harmful effects of taking drugs can be limited. But it is impossible to achieve complete deliverance from drug addiction.

a sharp decline in academic performance for no apparent reason;
loss of interest in previous hobbies;
loss of appetite and morbid condition;
emerging need for money;
there is isolation, detachment from friends and family;
the mood of a teenager becomes unpredictable, although aggressiveness and irascibility prevail;
antisocial behavior appears;
the teenager himself is constantly trying to pretend that nothing is happening, and there is nothing strange in his behavior.

You should start sounding the alarm only if all of the listed changes in the behavior of a teenager appear in the aggregate, because the transitional age itself has similar symptoms. They just show up on their own most of the time. But there are also such signs by which it is already quite confident to talk about the drug addiction of a teenager:

complete apathy, which suddenly abruptly changes to an overly excited state;
constant lies that have no apparent motivation;
a sharp deterioration in memory and the appearance of problems with logical thinking;
change in pupil size. From narrowed to a point to expanded with the disappearance of the iris - depends on the drug taken, which does not depend on lighting;
a state similar to intoxication, but without the smell of alcohol;
the appearance of a plaque with a brown tint on the tongue, redness of the whites of the eyes, traces of injections;
the appearance at home of smoked dishes, acetic acid, solvents, acetone, etc., syringes and needles.

In the event that you find such signs, then without the slightest hesitation and as soon as possible, you need to contact a narcologist or psychologist. In no case do not start blaming the child, on the contrary, find words of support that will give him hope. Remember that this is your common misfortune, and you will have to look for ways to get rid of it together.

The peculiarities of the psychology of adolescence have to be considered by those parents who have to deal with other addictions of adolescents; not as formidable as drug addiction, but not as harmless as it seems at first glance - with gambling and computer addiction.

Modern technologies are developing rapidly, and this development also has a negative side, which primarily affected children. Psychotherapists and psychologists different countries we are sure that children's passion for TV, slot machines and the Internet is becoming a real national disaster. The consequences can be very deplorable, although they will not appear immediately, but after a rather long period.

Recently, various social media in the Internet. Communicating in such networks, a teenager creates his own virtual world. Quite quickly, he has a pathological need to communicate via the Internet with strangers, and parting with the computer world can even lead him to severe mental trauma.

If a child has a computer or gambling addiction It is worth considering the help of a psychologist or even a psychotherapist. You should not rely on the fact that when the transitional age passes, this “childish” hobby will also pass. After all, the reasons for such dependence can be different - from the inferiority complex that a teenager experiences to a nervous breakdown. And these reasons will not disappear on their own. Just a kind parental word is not enough here, although it is also needed. Treatment is necessary, during which the teenager must constantly feel the love and support of his parents.

In adolescence, the symptoms look frightening and cause anxiety in parents. Sometimes it is difficult to figure out where the changes in the child's behavior are caused by the shortcomings of education, where - the natural process of growing up, and where it is already necessary to sound the alarm. Along with the onset of the crisis of adolescence comes a crisis in the relationship between parents and children.

The teenager begins to strive for independence, moving away from his parents, while realizing that he still continues to be dependent on them. Such dependence burdens him. In turn, parents feel that their child is growing up, leaving their influence. He has new interests in which he does not want to dedicate them. All this leads to sharp conflicts and constant quarrels.

Understanding all the secrets of adolescence, suggesting how to survive a transitional age without significant losses is the main task of adults during this period. It is important not to lose touch with your son or daughter during this period, to maintain a trusting relationship. It must be remembered that overcoming the difficulties of adolescence is a difficult stage for both parties, but it is adults, as wiser and more experienced, who must competently respond to all acute situations, and it is they who are responsible for resolving conflicts.

Remember more often that you yourself were once the same, and at the age of 14-15 it also seemed to you that you were already old enough to independently decide how you should live on. Such memories will help you understand that, due to their little life experience, a teenager simply cannot see a controversial situation from a different point of view than his own. Your task is to learn how to competently, imperceptibly for a ruffy teenager, control the situation and unobtrusively help him in making the right decision.

If it seems to you that in some situation your child is behaving incorrectly, then try to talk to him about it without getting personal. Give him the opportunity to independently draw conclusions and solve the problem. And in no case do not condemn him for failures. On the contrary, children in the transitional age have an increased need for approval from adults. Do not be surprised that a teenager began to constantly demand attention to himself, do not consider him an egoist. He just wants to be sure that his parents love him not for some outstanding success, but simply for what he is. It is very important for him to know that his parents will accept him in any case, and in any situation they will be on his side, support him and give advice.

A characteristic of the transitional age is that at this time, adolescents actively strive for independence. Those parents who give their children the opportunity to feel their independence and independence look trustworthy in the eyes of a teenager. And the adults themselves, allowing a teenager to make their own choice, relying only on their own strength, watch their child go up the steps of growing up, overcoming all the crisis moments of his life. Psychologists consider this approach the most effective.

When parents say to a teenager - at your discretion; I agree with your decision; choose for yourself - such answers give the teenager a sense of the right to choose, and he begins to approach decision-making more responsibly. But the transitional age is the time when a person must learn to act independently and at the same time be responsible for his actions.

Also in the characteristics of adolescence, it is necessary to mention the fact that a teenager begins to actively look for his place in life. This leads to the fact that his social circle expands significantly, he has more and more new interests and needs, and he begins to spend more and more time outside the home. Very often, parents react to this by increasing control. But this is the wrong step, according to psychologists. Total control does not allow a teenager to feel independent and interferes with instilling a sense of responsibility in a child.

Trust your child, learn to find compromises and with their help give the teenager more freedom. For example, if a teenager suddenly announces that today he will come home at twelve o'clock in the evening instead of the usual nine, then offer him an option to choose from - at ten or eleven o'clock.

Do not try to control his money expenses if you give him pocket money. On the contrary, start giving him money not for one day, but for a week. Let him feel financially independent, because now he will not have to ask you for money for any purchase, and besides, he will learn to plan his expenses.

For some reason, it is generally accepted that the transitional age occurs only in boys and girls. But in fact, the transitional age occurs not only in children and adolescents, but also in fully grown men and women. True, most often such an “adult transitional age” is called a “midlife crisis” or simply an “age crisis”. The women's site-magazine ForLove.com.ua offers in this article to get acquainted with the psychology of the transitional age of boys and girls, as well as adult men and women.

It should be noted that the basis for writing this article is the materials of the famous, outstanding Russian doctor-psychotherapist Andrey Kurpatov from the book "7 unique recipes to CONQUER FATIGUE".

It is wrong to assume that a transitional age occurs only in adolescence: doctors themselves admit that a child, growing up, experiences up to 18 years old, until he comes of age, at least 6-7 dangerous, psychologically critical transitional ages for the psyche and health of a child.

And dry forensic statistics sadly states the fact that the largest number of suicides occurs in adult women and men aged 20 to 60 years. Therefore, modern psychologists and psychotherapists are more than sure that a person's transitional age does not end after the age of 18 ... - it is just beginning.

Another thing is that among the people among themselves, the transitional ages of adult men and women are usually called an age crisis - most often a midlife crisis. Although psychological crises occur in young people under 30, and in old people after 50 ... Therefore, in this article, the women's site ForLove.com.ua will talk about the classification of all crises of the age of women and men, and will also give a brief but capacious description of all these "transitional ages" of the adult population.

So, let's first find out what is a transitional age ("age crisis")? Transitional age is a period of time during which a person undergoes changes in the body simultaneously with a change in social relations, a restructuring of relations with people.

Thus, any crisis of the age of a woman and a man, any transitional age of a boy and a girl is accompanied by the most difficult emotional state caused mainly by unpleasant changes in relationships with dear or significant people that occur against the background of physical ailments, illnesses, stress, chronic fatigue and neurasthenia, hormonal and other changes in the body.

The transitional age of a person is when "The scythe found a stone" - when the human psyche suffers, changes and rebuilds along with his body. And as the great classic A.S. Pushkin "There is no worse time than the time of change."

"CLASSIFICATION OF TRANSITIONAL AGES AND AGE CRISES OF MAN AND WOMAN"

1. THE PERIOD FROM 18 YEARS TO 21 YEARS - THE FIRST CRISIS OF THE AGE OF A MAN AND A WOMAN

The body of young boys and girls grows and develops until the age of 21-22, while the development of muscles and other parts of the body occurs against the backdrop of important social changes. Not all of course, but many guys and girls still lose their virginity during this period, experience serious hormonal and psychological changes against the background of turning into men and women.

Further - more: entering or not entering a university, the army, graduating from a university, marriage, having children, the need to get a first job, settle down in your own home, learn to get along with people at work and earn money ... A rather difficult and stressful period for young people , which is in a state of "feathering" and the search for its "I".

2. 30 years old, thirty - SECOND CRISIS OF THE AGE OF A MAN AND A WOMAN

Some young men and women start to go crazy even earlier - from the age of 25 they worry about their abilities and ability to settle in life. But 30 years is a real rubicon for the psychology of not boys and not girls, but adults and self-sufficient men and women.

30 years is the second age crisis, the second major transitional age for an adult. Its complexity lies in the fact that a person who has achieved success begins to worry intensely about possible troubles - dismissal from a prestigious job or a conflict with superiors, loss of property, divorce from a spouse, illnesses of children ...

At the age of 30, women and men understand that they are the backbone of the family, that they have no right to let this family down. And it's such a terrible responsibility...

Women realize that they are no longer young and beautiful girls that they have a bunch of juvenile competitors, and they begin to complex about their appearance. And men, men begin to compare themselves with young stallions, and this comparison is not always advantageous for a 30-year-old man with a beer belly.

And if a person has not yet managed to achieve anything in life before the age of 30, to fulfill himself, then that’s it, pack your samovars: life is over, I’m a loser, I don’t want to live ... In both cases, the fears and fears of a person drive him into the deepest stress, then - into depression, and then to neglected neurasthenia with all the consequences - within easy reach.

3. 40 years or Balzac age - THE THIRD CRISIS OF THE AGE OF A MAN AND A WOMAN

At about 40 years old, children grow up, stand on their own wing and fly away from their parent's nest. And their parents are waiting right there for the famous midlife crisis or the third transitional age of adult women and men.

The problem of the midlife crisis is that people begin to feel their “uselessness” and “restlessness” at the age of 40. Those stormy desires that excited the blood in young years are no longer or almost gone: women and men of age are no longer particularly drawn to discos, sexual entertainment, travel ... Desires fade and lose their former pleasant sharpness.

By the age of 40, many women have already successfully forgotten how to take care of themselves and their appearance, and they need to spend their free time somewhere and for someone. The husband is already tired of worse than ever, for whom to live, for whom to try? Divorced women worry about their lack of demand.

And the psychology of men experiencing a midlife crisis is as follows: I have already lost almost all of my friends, and they are not my friends at all, I don’t really want sex, except perhaps on the side, secretly from my wife, the meaning of life has been lost, there are already more prospects for the same job no, for whom did he live, for whom did he pull his veins and try? Unclear.

And against the background of this “It is not clear”, against the background of the loss of the meaning of life in women and men, the same psychological stress gradually develops in a spiral, then depression, fatigue, dissatisfaction with life, neurasthenia, going to hospitals and looking for non-existent, far-fetched diseases ...

4. CLIMAX - THE FOURTH CRISIS OF THE AGE OF MAN AND WOMAN

With the onset of menopause, many women celebrate their irrevocably gone youth with a magnificent funeral, dress their souls in mourning, instead of rejoicing at the joys of sexual life that have become available without consequences. Women begin to castigate themselves and their bodies, that he lost ground so quickly, let him down, that everything, life is over ... And again, the swan song of the crisis of age went in a growing spiral.

And men, men also experience a kind of menopause at the age of 50, because they are acutely worried about the loss of their former sexual attractiveness, they note with horror the fact that young girls have already begun to give up their seats on the bus ... In general, the male midlife crisis is resuming, but already under the updated program.

By the way, note to housewives: in some African countries, the onset of menopause in women is considered a great holiday, because now a woman can have sex as much as she likes, and she will no longer give birth to new "mouths" (it is well known that in Africa there are big problems with food, water and children's diseases).

5. 60 YEARS, THE END OF THE EPOCH - THE FIFTH CRISIS OF THE AGE OF MAN AND WOMAN

Those men and women who live to the age of 60 are acutely aware of their sudden aging, the final loss of beauty and youth, the elasticity of the skin and muscles, which become flabby and not very beautiful. In addition, by the fifth stage of the age crisis, many people who have already become elderly, out of nowhere appear a bunch of sores, there is a general chronic malaise, deafness, vision is greatly reduced, teeth fall out, hair turns white ...

At the age of 60, today's older men and women put a fat, full-fledged cross on themselves, put up with the fact that they are already being addressed as grandparents, they themselves enroll themselves in the ranks of the elderly. At the same time, in the soul, all these physical, bodily changes are experienced by the newly-minted old men and women very sharply and painfully. But there is no one to help them during this transitional period, and there is nothing for it, unlike Western pensioners who have personal psychotherapists.

6. 70 and older - THE LAST CRISIS OF THE AGE OF MAN AND WOMAN

After old age has fully come into its own, aged and haggard, elderly women and men begin to selflessly devote their lives to one or all three hackneyed scenarios of old age:

1) seek salvation ... in illness. In fact, many old women and old people use their sores and ailments as a way to attract the attention of their adult children and compassionate neighbors. And visiting doctors, visiting polyclinics and charlatans is a great way to get rid of choking energy that has nowhere to go, and at the same time - a unique opportunity to talk with at least someone. In old age, people are very keenly aware of their loneliness and are ready to do almost anything, just to be with someone, just not alone with themselves.

2) live in memories of the past... There is a category of people who, in their youth, live exclusively with dreams of a brighter future, and after old age, with memories of the past. But to really live something - here, today and now - and they forgot, is that how it turns out?

3) live the life of another person ... Such elderly women and men usually throw all their strength on their grandchildren and granddaughters, take care of them in every possible way, filling the void, the gap in their own lives. Only those whose life the old people try to live, filling the void in their own, rarely experience gratitude.

Thus, the transitional age for a man and a woman does not stop with the onset of 18 years. It's just that such transitional ages in our society are called the crisis of age, in particular, the crisis of middle age. What is the moral of this article? Life is one big change, a permanent crisis - a permanent transitional age - a transition from one level to the next, this is a constant change in our life path, and the main secret of life is to be able to live and enjoy life here, today and now, no matter what, without looking back at the past and empty dreams of the future.

puberty- this is a process of changes in the body of a teenager, as a result of which he becomes an adult and acquires the ability to procreate. Boys are in transition starts at 13-15 years old and ends at 17-19 years old. The hormonal changes that occur during this period determine not only the physical changes in the body of a young man, but also affect his social behavior. What should teenagers and their parents know about puberty?

During the transitional period, the boy becomes a man

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Puberty is a transitional period between childhood and adulthood. At this time, a significant hormonal restructuring occurs, which causes a certain, genetically incorporated physical development. The term puberty is usually understood specifically as the sexual development of a young man, but does not affect the psychological changes that occur during this. Adolescence in fact lasts longer than puberty itself and includes not only physical, but also social maturation.

Physical development due to hormonal changes in the body

The transition period begins for all boys in different ages. On average, the first changes are noted at the age of 13-15 years. For comparison, girls mature earlier and are about 2-3 years ahead of boys. What happens during this period in the body of a young person?

Increases the production of GN-RG (gonadotropin-relysin hormone) in the hypothalamus.
Increases in the pituitary gland.
Stimulates the production of sex hormones in the testicles.

Thus, the hypothalamus is the first to come into play. He begins to actively synthesize GN-RH, which in turn leads to an increase in the production of hormones in the pituitary gland subordinate to it and further in the testicles. Increased production of hormones inevitably leads to the launch of certain processes and the onset of sexual development.

The processes that occur in the body of a young man under the influence of hormones:

Connections are established between the hypothalamus, pituitary gland and gonads.
The sensitivity of tissues to the action of sex hormones increases.
There is a gradual maturation of the receptor apparatus of the gonads.
The mass of seminiferous tubules increases.
Spermatozoa mature in Sertoli cells.

The production of hormones leads to sexual development

All these processes occurring in the body of a young man lead to the appearance of certain changes in the body and the formation of secondary sexual characteristics.

Stages of physical development in puberty

2-3 years before the onset of puberty, there is an increase in production. This process is called adrenarche. At this time, there is an intensified one, which subsequently leads to the launch of other physiological processes. The exact scheme of regulation of adrenarche has not yet been studied, however, the influence of certain enzymes on this process (cytochrome P450, etc.) is noted.

In adolescence, a change in the body of a young man occurs in several stages:

Enlargement of the external genitalia

The first sign of puberty in boys is testicular enlargement. In the prepubertal period, their sizes remain practically unchanged and are 2-3 cm long and 1.5-2.5 cm wide. Starting from the age of 12-13, the testicles increase in size up to 4 cm³. After 5-6 years of puberty, the volume of the testicles should be about 20 cm³.

The penis begins to increase in size along with the growth of the testicles. The frequency of erections increases (an increase in the volume of the penis as a result of filling the cavernous bodies with blood against the background of sexual arousal). Arise. Normally, wet dreams occur every 2-3 days, but an increase or decrease in their frequency in adolescence should not be considered a pathology. In adult men, wet dreams may be the result of prolonged sexual abstinence.

By the age of 14-15, the boy has full-fledged spermatozoa. After the appearance of the first wet dreams, the young man is theoretically ready to become a father. Do not forget about contraception and protection against STIs during this period.

Due to ormonal changes, secondary sexual characteristics are formed

Hair Growth

First of all, pubic hair appears, and this happens shortly after the growth of the testicles begins. The first hairs appear at the base of the penis. As it grows thicker, the hair covers the entire pubic region, extends to the thighs, appears along the white line of the abdomen and reaches the navel. After 6-18 months, hair growth begins in the armpit, around the nipples, above the upper lip and on the chin. The sequence and intensity of hair growth is individual and is largely determined by heredity. Not all young men have hair growth on the chest or other parts of the body. Hair continues to grow throughout life and becomes significantly thicker over time.

Voice change

Breaking the voice occurs under the influence of androgens. Increased synthesis of hormones leads to rapid growth of the larynx, thickening and lengthening of the vocal cords. The young man's voice becomes low. For several years, the voice may be unstable. The final timbre of the voice is established by the age of 15-16 and usually precedes the appearance of facial hair.

Musculature change

In adolescence, boys grow rapidly. The length of the bones increases, there is an increase in muscle mass. The shoulder bones and jaws grow much faster than the rest of the body, which leads to the formation of a male figure. The maximum increase in muscle mass is observed a year after the onset of puberty. By the end of puberty, boys have twice as much muscle mass as girls of the same age.

Change in body odor

Inflammatory processes affect the skin of the face and other parts of the body

Under the influence of sex hormones, the composition of fatty acids that make up the structure of sweat changes. Sweating increases, there is a specific smell. At the same time, there is an increased production of secretion by the sebaceous glands, which leads to an increase in the fat content of the skin. The addition of bacteria provokes the development of acne - inflammatory changes on the skin of the face, back, and other parts of the body. After the completion of puberty, most young men have acne on their own. In some cases, specialist advice and treatment is required.

Psychological changes at puberty

Hormonal changes affect not only changes in the body. Significant changes are also taking place in the mental state of the young man. At the age of about 12 years, there is a significant acceleration in the growth rate of the brain, and there are also significant changes in the endocrine system. The complex relationship between the hypothalamus and other endocrine glands creates conditions for enhancing the excitability of certain subcortical structures, which leads to a restructuring of nervous activity in adolescents.

According to numerous studies in the transition period, boys have:

Decreased concentration and memory at the beginning of adolescence and some improvement towards the end of puberty.
Some decrease in mental performance at the age of 14-16 years.
Violation of the processes of inhibition and increased excitability of the central nervous system.

In the transitional period, a real hormonal storm is raging in the body of a teenager. Due to the rapid growth of the brain, its key structures do not always have time to adequately supply blood, which also affects the mental activity of the young man and determines some aspects of his behavior. There is nothing surprising in the fact that the character of a young man is changing. The severity of the changes can be different, but in most cases the following points are noted:

As a result of the restructuring of the body, the character of the boy changes

Self-doubt, shyness, low self-esteem (often offset by excessive aggression).
Closure, prone to depression.
Nervousness, excessive anxiety.
Increased aggressiveness, including in relation to elders.
emotional lability. Mood swings and impulsivity are common in boys during puberty.
Conflict, confrontation with the outside world.
The appearance of sexual desire, interest in the opposite sex.

Of particular importance for boys are issues of personal relationships. Classmates from incomprehensible creatures from another planet suddenly turn into beautiful girls. There is an understandable interest in this area of life. The first sexual experience also often occurs at this age. Is it any wonder that the behavior of a young man is constantly changing and almost never meets the expectations of his parents?

Factors affecting puberty

It is impossible to predict in advance when a boy's puberty will begin, and how long it will last. The following factors influence the course of puberty:

Precocious puberty is said to occur when secondary sexual characteristics appear in boys under the age of 9 years. The lag in sexual development is noted if no changes occur at the age of 16 years and older. In any of these situations, you should consult a doctor and find the cause of such deviations.

Tips for parents: how to survive adolescence

Puberty is a difficult time not only for the teenager himself, but also for the people around him. A clumsy, mischievous and sometimes aggressive boy is difficult to love in the same way as a touching, fat-cheeked baby. The boy no longer lies still in diapers, no longer hangs with the designer, no longer impresses his parents with the ability to put words into sentences. He is gloomy and gloomy, dissatisfied with life and himself, and all the time provokes conflicts. Not surprisingly, teenagers quite often have problems and misunderstandings with their parents, and these difficulties cannot be avoided even in the most loving family.

It is important for the parents of a teenage boy to remember: a young man needs care and love no less than a baby, only it needs to be expressed in a slightly different form. Excessive guardianship of a young person will only harm and become another annoying factor. Adults need to be there and make it clear with all their behavior that the child can count on them, no matter what happens. And along with this, it is necessary to give the teenager the opportunity to express himself, to fulfill himself, to find his place in life and take a certain position of peers. Finding a balance between freedom and care is what is important for parents whose son has entered the difficult time of puberty.

In adolescence, it is important for parents to find a balance between freedom and care.

A few tips:

Direct the energy of the young man in a useful direction. Offer him an activity in which he will feel needed. It can be a part-time job in your spare time, helping in the family business, playing sports or some kind of hobby. It is important that the young person has the opportunity to choose, because under duress is unlikely to be effective.
Give the young man some personal space. Ideally, this should be a separate room where an adult will not break in without warning. If this is not possible, you should at least fence off your own corner in the common room for the teenager. Do not encroach on his personal belongings or eavesdrop on conversations with friends. Total control will not contribute to a good relationship and will only turn the teenager against you.
Avoid unnecessary criticism. Remember that teenagers take everything very seriously, especially when it comes to appearance or relationships with girls. Express your dissatisfaction in the correct form and do not forget to praise your young man.
Take an interest in his life. Gently ask how his school is doing. Be aware of what he is interested in, what questions he is interested in. Do not get into your personal life, but also be completely aloof. This will help you not only become a trusted person for a teenager, but also allow you to replace negative changes in time if the young man contacts bad company or gets into trouble.
Recognize it as a person. Let the young man realize his inclinations and choose his own life path on one's own. Remember that he is not an extension of you, but an independent person, and has the right to a personal opinion. Let him make his own mistakes and draw his own conclusions from what happened where it does not pose a serious danger to health and life.

Remember that puberty is not eternal. Sooner or later, a clumsy young man will become an adult man, and you will only have to remember this difficult, but fascinating time in its own way.

FAQ, or frequently asked questions

At what age is it time to worry that signs of physical changes have not begun?

It is worth talking about late sexual development if by the age of 15-16 the young man has not developed a single secondary sexual characteristic (growth of the genital organs, pubic hair, in the armpits, on the face, voice change). In this situation, you should contact an andrologist.

At what age do boys finish growing?

The maximum growth is observed in young men aged 14-16 years. At this time, the young man almost reaches the final mark of his growth, but the process does not end there. Slow increases are observed up to 20-22 years (according to some sources, up to 25 years) - until the growth zones are completely closed.

Is it true that acne "will go away on its own" as soon as the young man begins to live sexually?

This conventional wisdom has no scientific basis. In most adolescents, acne disappears by the end of puberty, that is, by the age of 17-19, and the intensity of sexual activity does not affect this process in any way.

Are dietary changes necessary after puberty?

The diet of a teenager should be balanced in terms of essential elements and vitamins. The diet of a teenager should be red meat, fresh vegetables and fruits in season. Usually, during the transitional period, boys have an appetite, so there are no significant problems with this. It is only important to limit the proportion of fast food and fast carbohydrates so as not to provoke weight problems and metabolic disorders.

When will this nightmare end?

Everything passes, and this too shall pass. By the age of 17-19, the hormonal storm subsides, and the young man enters a new stage in his life. By this age, secondary sexual characteristics reach their maximum development. Skin condition improves, acne disappears. The psycho-emotional state also normalizes at the end of the transitional age.

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